24 hours

* Debate 2013 Baseball Hall of Fame prospects, steroids, & gambling. 


* Watch "Moneyball". Love it.

* Turn up burner too high & burn oil in Whirly Popper.


* Cut hole in popcorn bag to fill up container, only to realize another has been ripped & kernels are falling out all over the counter, floor, stove.

* It takes two adult Schumakers & three containers to wrangle all the popcorn kernels.

* Oil is so hot it burns half the kernels, rather than popping them.

* Bowl of popcorn just magically falls off the arm of the chair all over my lap, the chair, & new carpet. 

* There is some type of hole in my lip that causes me to drool my alcohol all down my sweatshirt, rather than down my throat. 

* F-ing popcorn falls out of the bowl again.

* Gigantic nose zit gets even bigger & redder. In the morning, the bigger child says, "Mom, what's wrong with your nose? Do you need a bandaid?" Smaller child says, "Mama, you got owie? Aww, poor Mama."

* Run dishwasher.


* New flooring gets christened with dog barf. A lot of dog barf.

* Bigger child takes, literally, two steps outside the garage & falls on the driveway in the snow. Twice. "I'm ok, I'm ok." she says. 

* Nice, long phone conversation with my friend, Michelle. 

* Dog barf again.

* Rearrange kitchen cabinets. Move serving bowls & platter seven times before settling on a spot that will do for now.

* New carpet stairs get christened with dog barf.

* Smaller child states she wants "noo-duhs & cookies" for "yunch". Done & Done. 

* Trip over multiple tiaras & princess shoes in the kitchen.

* "MOMIWANTSTAWBEHYEEJUICEINNAMYCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!"

* "MOMIWANHEEYUHGEORGIATHONGNOW!!!!!!!!!!!"

* "MMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"

* Read "Smile For Elmo" & rock the smaller child.

* Take a shower without interruption.

* Freak out because dog has refused  to drink water & has been sleeping excessively.

* Call vet & make early evening appointment. 

* Drive to pick up bigger child from school with a plastic high heeled clad toddler in tow.

* Make hot chocolate for snack. Become a hero.

* Help with homework, but not with sentence writing because she does not *need* it.


* Take puppy to vet. Spend some bucks for a shot, some amoxil, & advice that if she isn't better by Saturday to bring her in for bloodwork.

* Make kickass dinner that no one is nearky as excited about as me. Happy for leftover clementine salsa for the next 24 hours. 

* Receive play by play of two bowling games from bigger child.  


* "MAMAGIMMIEDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!!!!!!!!!!"

* Smaller child gets angry because there is no more dip & throws plate across the table & onto the floor.

* Clean kitchen. Set dishwasher to run in three hours. For the second time. 

* Listen to bigger child read "That's Not My Reindeer" for bedtime book. Cuddle in rocking chair with bigger & smaller. 

* Hear a clink, clink, bonk sound & then "I spilled my beer." New living room carpet has been christened. 

* Write blog post about the last 24 hours.