My New J-O-B

Four days into my new job, & I am completely convinced I have made the right choice for me & my family. I have joined a large, family oriented organization, SAHM. Here are my new bosses:

These two are the most demanding, loudest, most critical bosses I have ever had. But they are also the most forgiving, wonderful, fun, & downright loving bosses I have ever had. I couldn't have asked for a better career move....

OK, so I stumbled across a cute website ----www.twoofakindworkingonafullhouse.com. 
She has all kinds of fun product info, recipes, & LOTS of awesome giveaways! She's having a giveaway right now for this: http://www.twoofakindworkingonafullhouse.com/search/label/giveaway. It's for a great store ---- http://www.downeastbasics.com/ ---- I have added it to my faves so I have instant access to all of DownEast Basic's cute stuff! You should go take a look!!

WHY?

5/19/2010: Why in the world is it so flippin' hard for me to take care of myself? I will take care of other people until the cows come home, but refuse to take time for myself. It. Is. ANNOYING.

Right now I am watching "Ruby" on the Style network & a lady on the show just said, "I enjoy being a servant." What in the holy hell?!?! I completely get what she is saying, but I don't feel like I necessarily enjoy it....I feel like it's just something I need to do: take care of others. Others? Who?! Babies, husband, puppy, friends, family, nieces, nephews, cousins, work....And when people say to me "Hey Jennifer, do you need anything?" or "Can I help you do anything?" my response is almost always "Nope, I'm good! Thanks, though!" What is wrong with me that I don't allow others to help me or take care of me?

***EDIT***5/25/2010: WOW. It is WEIRD to me that I started this a week ago & had, what can only be described as, a "Come to Jesus" meeting with my husband about this exact thing four days later. He called me out on a lot of things I didn't even realize I was doing ---- or in my case, not doing. 


For as long as I can remember I have consistently assumed the role of caregiver. I chose a career path in which I would be serving & caring for others. In fact, if I really think about it, I could even go so far as to say I also appointed myself the role of savior. OK, I don't know if "savior" is exactly the most appropriate word to use; after all my name is not Jesus, it's Jennifer. But I constantly find myself trying to "save" someone. Save someone from an addiction, a bad relationship, pain, themselves....I grab up as much of their pain, heartache, & suffering that I can hold on to so they don't have to. Throughout my career I've taken physical abuse & hateful words from children because I know their tiny little hearts can't take all the pain inflicted on them by others. I allow it because I am adult & should be able to handle the burden, pain, & shame that comes with some of the things these children have been through. I take it & lock it away; I put it on a shelf in the back corner of my mind & my heart so it can't hurt anyone anymore. I find myself doing this with adults too.


At some point in my teenage/young adult years I must have gotten a tattoo on my forehead that reads "TELL ME ALL YOUR SHIT. DON'T WORRY, I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT FOR YOU!" Yeah, I am "that" person. And if you're one of "those" people you know exactly what I am talking about. I carry around so much baggage daily that is not my own that perhaps you should contact me if you've ever lost luggage in an airport. I bet I have it stored away in my brain....Or my heart. 


Reading this over I sound a bit whiny & melodramatic. After all, it's not like I've ever stopped anyone from telling me things. "Nope, sorry. Can't hear about your break up/alcohol addiction/unwanted pregnancy/work issues today. I've got gardening to do!" I mean, honestly. Who does that? I'd want someone to listen to me if I had problems. Oh, wait, I DO HAVE PROBLEMS. Maybe if I could lift some of my own burdens I'd be better equipped to carry the loads of others more effectively. But lifting your burdens means you must face them, & I am TERRIBLE at that. I would rather face a mountain of others' burdens than address even one of my own. Don't know why; never been good at it. I don't know if, like monsters in the closet,  I think they'll disappear if I ignore them long enough or if it's because admitting I have pain & sorrow means they will come at me with a vengeance & eventually break me. In my twisted sense of reality admitting these feelings to others means you are weak. And I don't like being weak. In fact, in pisses me right off. I like to be in control & I like to know what's next.

None of this really makes a lot of sense, but whatever. Bottom line: I don't know how to take care of myself, but I am learning.

Here's what I do when I am feeling down in the dumps....

Shoes. Shoes make everything better. When I feel a little sad, I play dress up in my closet with my shoes. I love my shoes. Heels. Tennies. Flip flops. Mules. Slippers. Flats. More tennies. Wedges....Polka dots. Zebra print. Stripes. Gold sequins....Fake purple iridescent snakeskin. And I HATE snakes, but I looooove those shoesies. Bottom line: Shoes make everything better. 
The End.

What. In. The. World.

I am watching "Yo Gabba Gabba" for the first time ever & have never been more frightened in all my life. Some crazy dude with a drawn on 'stache just screamed a song at me about a pool party & now the blue thing & the green striped thing are jumpy jump jump jumping. Oh, & here come two other things. NIGHTMARES FOR DAYS.

www.nickjr.com

Here We GO!

My Etsy Shop is up & running!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/hopeandfaithcreation

It's a little bare right now, but I hope to add more items very soon! I am so excited to start this journey & FINALLY have the guts to do something so close to my heart....

COMING SOON!!!!

Hope & Faith Creations' New Home 

Hope & Faith Creations' very own Etsy Shop is almost ready! The link will take you to an empty shop now, but soon it will be filled with all kinds of amazingly tacky items for babies, kiddos, & your home ---- all made by me. Here are a few sneak peeks:

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

April is nationally recognized as Child Abuse Prevention Month....Like most things that have been linked to an "awareness ribbon", I wonder why child abuse prevention has been relegated to just one month out of 12. Shouldn't we do our part to prevent our youngest friends, family members, neighbors, & even strangers, from abuse every day? I think so. But child abuse isn't something people like to think or talk about, much less acknowledge that it occurs on an all too regular basis. I suppose this would be the reason we have a designated month to bring this gigantic problem to the forefront: to raise awareness & hopefully change mindsets to realize the children in our lives are OUR responsibility.

I have worked in environments most of my adult life where I have witnessed the tragic effects abuse has on young children. One would think after 10+ years I have developed a thicker skin or hardened my heart against the things I have seen; nothing could be further from the truth. Names may have escaped my memory, but the children's stories & the tolls taken on their young lives have not. I have been hit, kicked, spit on, & scratched by children who know only these actions as appropriate ways to respond to another person. I have been called countless names, including "stupid bitch", "fucker", & recently, "shithole" by children who have probably heard these words far more than their own name. I have witnessed children become out of control & nearly impossible to calm down during a simple nap time at school because laying down to sleep means, to them, someone is going to come & sexually assault me so I have to stay awake.  I have met children who have no idea how to feel or handle their emotions because they have been neglected by those who are supposed to care for them. A gentle hug or pat on the back might send them into a sensory overloaded tailspin because they rarely receive physical contact. Sometimes children are not the direct target of the abuse, but they witness someone else being abused. Witnessing abuse can be just as devastating to a child as actually being abused. Children may have nightmares or develop physical symptoms such as stomach & head aches as a result of any of these assaults on their little lives. Their behavior almost certainly may change. A child may begin wetting the bed at night or become overly clingy or aggressive.

Children simply have to live within the situation in which they are put. Most of the time children have no say in what goes on in their lives. It is our responsibility as teachers, neighbors, family members, friends, & even the person passing by to do what we can to protect our children. If you witness a child being abused or a child discloses to you he/she is being hurt by someone, or even if you have a suspicion you MUST REPORT. Every state has a hotline number you can call to report child abuse, neglect, or endangerment. I urge you, I am pleading with you to find this number in your area & keep it with you. I pray you will NEVER have to use it, but you may potentially save a child's life by making one call. 

Ode to the Tumbleweed

Tumbleweed, Oh Tumbleweed
In fabulous G-Town; 

You will always & forever
Turn my frown upside-down....

Your backyard's a train track,
The patio? Brand new.


When I first walked through your door
I knew my dreams had come true!


With your mullets & dart boards, 
Your chandeliers, your perms


I'm eternally grateful 
I haven't caught any germs. 


Karaoke nights
With Mac & Cheese bites.

Cops & handcuffs, 
Girls getting in fights!


Bedazzled jeans pockets
To match my best friend;

People are packed together:
End to end!


White folks are dancin'
Entirely too fast,


The fun never stops ----
It lasts & lasts!


Tumbleweed, oh Tumbleweed!
I will never be blue!

Tumbleweed, oh Tumbleweed!
I'll forever be true!










 

WOW....

I really need to think of something interesting to write about.