On Worth

Yesterday I celebrated the beginning of my 39th year of life.

(damn, that's really close to 40.) 

The day started out beautiful. It was chilly, but the sun was shining & the sky was a bright shade of blue. I had a couple of hours to myself, enjoyed a much needed conversation with a beautiful friend, then ate lunch with my girls at school where I saw another friend. I even got to take a short nap. Somewhere along the way the sun went into hiding, the skies turned grey, & my mood went with it. The peace & contentment I had felt was replaced by sadness & an overall feeling of just being....lost. I couldn't figure it out. Nothing had happened to bring on these feelings; they just kind of crept in. Do you ever feel that way? I have a natural tendency toward depression, so things like this sometimes happen. Most of the time I can shake it off fairly quickly with music, dancing, sewing, or just willing myself to be free & silly. Which was the case yesterday. My littlest came in to the bathroom as I was getting ready for our family dinner date. She looked at me with her big brown eyes & I just knew everything was fine. I also stuck her nannyhose (some people might call them tights, which is just weird) on her head & she looked like a little floppy eared bunny, so that helped. And the rest of the day was just as it had began. Beautiful.

But sometimes that feeling of being lost sticks around for a while & I just can't get rid of it. Colors dull to a grey scale & nothing seems to be right. I don't feel worthy of the life I have been given & begin to despair I will be caught in the lie that is me. Maybe the people in my life will discover I am not worthy of their friendship, their love. I get so scared of being "found out" that I simply shut down & lock all my doors & windows because it's easier than letting people in. Other times I feel nothing at all. That's the worst. These things are all myths that depression has created. Certain circumstances in my life have perpetuated my depression & it has definitely gotten the best of me a few times. There were times I wasn't sure I would be able to see color ever again. 

I know I am better than that. I AM BETTER THAN DEPRESSION.

So I finally rounded up enough courage to ask for help. Initially I sought out therapy for my girls. I wanted to make sure I could be the best version of myself for them. Because they deserve a happy, healthy, strong mama & positive role model. After several sessions, I began to feel different. And I started acknowledging the effects my sessions were having on me. I felt light, hopeful, strong, & colorful more. I began to understand &, most importantly, appreciate my worth like I never had before. 

I am so proud to share that I have partnered with Ribbon of Worth Foundation to help others remember their own worth. Here is their mission statement:

Ribbon of Worth Foundation is dedicated to promoting individual and community wellness by strengthening self-worth, through advocacy, education, research and service. 

10% of each sale from my Etsy shop will be donated to Ribbon of Worth Foundation to help support its mission & sustain the understanding that we are all worthy creatures. Worthy of life, love, happiness, & color. 

And now, because I can never seem to keep things serious for too long, please enjoy my worthy fish face.

What Have I Been DOING? AKA, Another Lazy Post

So, it's been a long time....

Here are some pictures to capture a few moments of my life over the last year:

A lot of this.

Baby girl's worst febrile seizures to date + flu = hospital stay.

Being grateful for this.

A lot of board games. Like, A LOT.

Making school play costumes for my budding theatre geek.

Hanging out with my favorite sister.

Cooking with this tiny chef.

Remembering why I love him so much.

Participating in my very first craft shows. AND LOVING IT.

My big girl started 2nd grade & my little girl started preschool. And mommy had a breakdown.

Learning new things. 

Things haven't always been easy, but they have always forever amen been worth it. I am excited & ready to share my thoughts, my rants, & hopefully some inspiration. 

That Worked Out Well....

WELP. At least the blog is cleaned up now. Maybe I'll even get around to actually writing soon.

In the meantime, here's what I've been up to:

www.onlylittlewing.etsy.com

www.facebook.com/onlylittlewing

WHOOPSIE

Just took a peek at the blog. Eleven months later....It's been a crazy, busy, stressful, delightful, gray hair making eleven months. Maybe I'll write about them. 



Tomorrow.

Hello Monday, Pumpkin Edition

Saying hello to family fun & pumpkins this Monday....

       hello, dancing in the parking lot

hello, louisburg

hello, apples

hello, cider making watchers

hello, pumpkins

hello, pumpkin hugs

hello, sister hugs

hello, big girl behind the lens

Linking to Lisa Leonard's Hello Monday post. I'll say it again: visit her shop. You will love it. Christmas is coming & I will be making a list of my Lisa Leonard needs very soon.

P.S., Please vote.

Hello Late Night Monday

Saying "hello" a bit late today....Here's some fun stuff from the weekend:

 hello new adventure

hello roadside flowers

hello 20+ year old legos

hello air that i breathe

hello family history

hello crappy sketch artist

hello tuesday prep & book repair

Linking up to Lisa Leonard's Hello Monday post. If you haven't already checked out her beautiful jewelry & accessories, you need to do it now. For serious.

Happy Monday!

Hello Monday

hello aunt normie's buffalo check fabric rosettes

hello cuddle time

hello graffiti artist

hello mommy naptime (with bonus toys)

hello shortened nap due to phone ringing pedicure

beautiful big girl home from school

hello more graffiti

hello daddy

hello grilled tacos

hello baseball

 Fun way to document the little things in my Monday after 10 days of icky sickness....Linking up to Lisa Leonard's Hello Monday post.

Creative Mind Combustion

I have been sick. Like fever having, cold chills shivering, hallucination inducing, crying for my mama, sick. For a week. I spent my entire Labor Day weekend in bed. I journeyed to the kitchen a couple times for pudding & tea, but that's it. Thankfully, my husband & the girls were gone because I think I would've driven them crazy. 

Since I couldn't move for almost 3 full days I laid in the bed & watched a TON of reality shows. From "House Hunters" to "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" to "Married to Jonas" to "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo", I watched it. I was more than horrified at myself for watching most of it, but the remote was just too damn heavy to lift.

The thing that's been the worst is knowing I have a big pile of fabric & nearly completed projects just waiting for me. And it's making me crazy. I mean, LOOK it this!!!!

In between cussing out potential home buyers & learning how to "redneckcognize", my creative mind kept plotting. I have lists & sketches. Time to get to work, ya'll.

Blessings

Last night I had the honor of sharing in a woman's journey from this world into the next. She was surrounded by friends & family, all sharing with her words of love, hope, & strength. It was one of the most difficult, yet most beautiful experiences I've ever had. I am so thankful to her family, especially her beautiful daughter, for letting me be there with her. I love you, Seefus. 
 
I haven't forgotten our talk; I will keep my promise to you.
Rest peacefully, Lizzy.   

Nobody's Perfect

Now that my chicken rant is over (but not forgotten, I assure you), let's get back to some serious business....

80's hair bands. I love them.

"I'm real sorry 'bout the shape I'm in, I just LIGHT MY PHONE every now & then." 

You guys, I am not even joking. I honest to CC Deville thought that's what Bret Michaels was saying UNTIL A FEW WEEKS AGO. 

He does not say that.