Isn't it doing the same thing over & over again, all the while expecting a different result each time? How many times have you tried to shove a square peg into a round hole before you finally understood it just wasn't going to fit? Did you throw your hands up & give in to the realization it just wasn't going to work?
What about in the context of a relationship? In every relationship we have, from partner to parent/child to friend, there are times when you are the carrier. There are also times when you need to be carried. There are times when you are an asshole; there are times when you deal with someone being an asshole. Reciprocity. An emotional puff, puff, give if you will.
I like to think I give my best as much as I can to those I am in relationships with, but I know that isn't always the case. I have bad days, weak moments, selfish moments....Everyone does, so I shouldn't worry as much as I do. I mean, those that truly love & accept us will be there no matter the circumstances, right? And we accept those we love no matter their circumstances. Right?
Here's where things get tricky for me:
What about the people in our lives that consistently create storms & chaos regardless of how supportive/caring/accepting you are? We all have them. How many times do you turn the other cheek? How many times do you provide for a fresh start, push the reset button? And how many times will you be surprised when a person shows you the same storm? I wrestle with myself regarding this very issue, partly due to my background in social service agencies & my current schooling in Play Therapy techniques. Working with children & families in stressful, tense situations often proves the acting out behavior is simply a primal cry for help. Faced with consistent trauma & stress (which is relative to each person), people will almost always show you their worst. Maybe lash out at you & attempt to place blame on you or others. When we feel this out of control & desperate it is damn near impossible to say "I need help". Way easier to recognize a cry for help on a professional level than a personal one....
So what the hell do you do? I've WWJD'd myself nearly to death with this very question. I have typically been the type of person to give one the benefit of the doubt. And it can be exhausting. I've no doubt others have done the same for me when what they really want to do is throw me off the nearest bridge. I know how exhausting I can be; man, often times I exhaust myself. No one should ever feel alone in this world. We all deserve to be held at our weakest moments & uplifted at our best. But when/how do you make the decision that enough is enough? That you've turned your cheek so many times they're bloody & raw? How do you know when it's time to throw up your hands & walk away? To further complicate these questions for me, I have guilt about the person feeling rejected by me. Rejection is a part of life, sure, but it stings like a sonofa when you're already down. And I don't want to be the cause of anyone's pain. Is walking away really the answer? How long can you continue to be strong for someone, to give them a safe haven & support before you realize you are in fact being victimized?
I don't know. I wish I did.
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