On Monsters

Monsters are real. History, both ancient & recent, tells us so. 

I am not a particularly religious person, but I do believe in a higher power I choose to call God. And She is real pissed about what we are doing to her beloved artwork. 

I do not believe this "everything happens for a reason" bullshit, nor do I believe God is sitting on a cloud somewhere pulling puppet strings. She did not give my nephew cancer. He did not make me miscarry eight of my babies. God does not put guns in people's hands. 

I believe in science & the unexplained, fascinating phenomena that is the human body. I believe God gave us brains to use & free will to make our own choices. On the other side of the coin, we can be at the mercy of our upbringing & societal stereotypes (I'm looking at you, Fox News). Far too often we take what we are taught as bond, never asking questions or discovering things for ourselves. 

In the last 48 hours I have oscillated between rage, devastation, fear, & judgement. I have thrown things in anger & fallen to my knees, crippled by my own tears. Nothing makes sense & I am paralyzed with pain. 

That's what monsters do. 

The U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation defines domestic terrorism as follows:

"Domestic terrorism" means activities with the following three characteristics:

• Involve acts dangerous to human life that violate federal or state law;
• Appear intended (i) to intimidate or coerce a civilian population; (ii) to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion; or (iii) to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination. or kidnapping; and
• Occur primarily within the territorial jurisdiction of the U.S.

What happened at Emmanuel AME Church is nothing short of domestic terrorism. It is not a "tragedy" or "act of violence". To use these words to describe the willful, conscious act of murdering nine human beings solely based on the color of their skin AFTER the monster sat with them while they prayed for an hour is despicable. 

Call it by its name: TERRORISM

Yes, I believe God is pissed. Hurt by us. Hurt for us. The very thing He has created is slowly but surely turning against itself. No one is born hating another. We learn it. We teach it. We see it. Or we can stand up to it; change hearts & minds. 

The time to affect that change is now. Our children do not deserve the hate & fear that has landed like a plaque of unfathomable proportions upon us. Use your brain. Use your heart. Use your voice. 

  

This is 40

I turned 40 years old two weeks ago. Holy hell. What a crazy, bumpy beautiful ride. 

40 Things I've Learned in 40 Years 

1. Naps are pretty much a necessity throughout life. If you have an opportunity to take a nap, do it. 

2. Forts are magical. Build forts all the time. Out of sheets, blankets, trees, wood scraps. Anything.  

3. When a 3rd grade classmate backs up & falls into a trashcan, you will laugh so hard you wet your pants. Trust me. 

4. Sing. Play music. Loud & often. 

5. Read as much as you can. Stay up too late & read. Books take you places you might never otherwise go. They broaden our horizons & make us think. 

6. Believe in something bigger than this world. 

7. When a 6th grade classmate gets bit by a bug in the lunchroom & screams like a banshee, chocolate milk will come out of your nose. 

8. Never take your relationships with your grandparents for granted. Always listen to their stories. Same goes for your parents.

9. Sometimes you may take a little longer to learn to do things than your friends. Like, maybe you won't learn to ride your big kid bike until you're 10. That's ok.

10. Speaking of bikes, turn that sucker over & make ice cream. 

11. Imaginary friends are the best. {Shout out to Roscoe the baby gorilla, Little Witch, & the rabbit family that lived in the back seat of the blue Horizon}

12. When you wake up in the middle of the night & see Santa's sleigh flying over your house, believe it. 

13. Someone will always have nicer clothes, shoes, or purses than you. That's ok. Channel your inner Pretty in Pink. 

14. Friendships come & go, but you will learn something from everyone you meet. 

15. When you hear or see hatred toward others, speak out. Silence is the same as acceptance. 

16. Play Kick the Can, Ghost in the Graveyard, & Superheroes often. 

17. Taking risks is scary. And oftentimes leads to beautiful rewards.

18. Not everyone you meet will like you & vice versa. This is ok. 

19. Work hard for the things you want. Nothing in this life is free. 

20. Pay attention. 

21. Parenting is f-ing exhausting.

22. Parenting is so, so fun. 

23. Cartoons are for big kids, too.

24. It is super easy to fall off a tire in gym class & break your foot.

25. Tripping up stairs in entirely possible. All the time. 

26. So is falling over your own feet. 

27. Always carry fidget toys in your purse or backpack. 

28. Blowing bubbles is a fantastic stress reliever. 

29. Sometimes you just need to hide in your closet, away from the rest of the world. 

30. When you get 5 or 6 kids in a metal pool/horse trough, you can make your own kickass lazy river by going in a giant circle for a few minutes, then floating on your back. 

31. Be kind. Even when it's hard. 

32. Be careful with your words. Say what you mean & mean what you say. 

33. Words cannot be taken back, no matter how hard you try. 

34. Never stop learning new things. Knowledge is power. 

35. Nothing hurts as much as a broken heart.

36. Laugh. Be silly. Make up new animals.

37. There are people that will take advantage of your heart. Don't let that jade you. Keep your heart open. 

38. Forgiveness is hard. 

39. Make art. Always. 

40. Beauty is everywhere. Find beauty every day.