The Definition of Insanity

Isn't it doing the same thing over & over again, all the while expecting a different result each time? How many times have you tried to shove a square peg into a round hole before you finally understood it just wasn't going to fit? Did you throw your hands up & give in to the realization it just wasn't going to work?

What about in the context of a relationship? In every relationship we have, from partner to parent/child to friend, there are times when you are the carrier. There are also times when you need to be carried. There are times when you are an asshole; there are times when you deal with someone being an asshole. Reciprocity. An emotional puff, puff, give if you will.

I like to think I give my best as much as I can to those I am in relationships with, but I know that isn't always the case. I have bad days, weak moments, selfish moments....Everyone does, so I shouldn't worry as much as I do. I mean, those that truly love & accept us will be there no matter the circumstances, right? And we accept those we love no matter their circumstances. Right?

Here's where things get tricky for me:
What about the people in our lives that consistently create storms & chaos regardless of how supportive/caring/accepting you are? We all have them. How many times do you turn the other cheek? How many times do you provide for a fresh start, push the reset button? And how many times will you be surprised when a person shows you the same storm? I wrestle with myself regarding this very issue, partly due to my background in social service agencies & my current schooling in Play Therapy techniques. Working with children & families in stressful, tense situations often proves the acting out behavior is simply a primal cry for help. Faced with consistent trauma & stress (which is relative to each person), people will almost always show you their worst. Maybe lash out at you & attempt to place blame on you or others. When we feel this out of control & desperate it is damn near impossible to say "I need help". Way easier to recognize a cry for help on a professional level than a personal one....

So what the hell do you do? I've WWJD'd myself nearly to death with this very question. I have typically been the type of person to give one the benefit of the doubt. And it can be exhausting. I've no doubt others have done the same for me when what they really want to do is throw me off the nearest bridge. I know how exhausting I can be; man, often times I exhaust myself. No one should ever feel alone in this world. We all deserve to be held at our weakest moments & uplifted at our best. But when/how do you make the decision that enough is enough? That you've turned your cheek so many times they're bloody & raw? How do you know when it's time to throw up your hands & walk away? To further complicate these questions for me, I have guilt about the person feeling rejected by me. Rejection is a part of life, sure, but it stings like a sonofa when you're already down. And I don't want to be the cause of anyone's pain. Is walking away really the answer? How long can you continue to be strong for someone, to give them a safe haven & support before you realize you are in fact being victimized?

I don't know. I wish I did.

They Have the Wrong Name

This website's name should not be Pinterest. It should be CRACKTEREST.

After my hysterectomy several weeks ago, I needed something to keep me busy & help me feel like I was still being craftish & inspired. I found Pinterest. Oh. My. Lanta. I love it & cannot stop pinning delicious, exciting ideas to my boards. You can use Pinterest to categorize pretty much anything & everything. I have a board dedicated to gnomes. That's right; gnomes. Tell me if you need an invite & I will happily send you one so you can join me in my newest obsession....

I Am a Blogging Machine, AKA Weird Stuff Typically Happens To Me

Wow. If I keep up this pace, I might just consider myself a professional blogger. I rule. 

I am one of "those people". You know, the friend that regularly has a story you hear & think, "WTF?" So here's just a couple things that have happend to me in the last 24 hours: 

1. I don't have a picture to support the first one, but here goes: I went outside yesterday to water the plants in our backyard. As I grabbed the hose, my view was accosted by a gigantic, disgusting spider. Rather than just leave it alone, I decided to rid our yard of this unwelcome pest & turned the hose on the sucker. Because I hate spiders so stinkin' much I may have gotten a little over zealous with the water. And I may have sprayed my phone, my iPod, & the docking station in the process. I also may have sprayed the baby, but I'm not entirely sure because she had already gotten "bitesth" from the hose....

2. I stopped by the gas station on my way home after dropping K at school this morning. As I was paying for my beverages a sneeze got stuck in my nose. I hate that. And then the cashier said, "Oh, you have allergies. I was going to ask you if you were alright, since you look a little weepy." Awesome. Here's a picture of my date for the next four months: 

 

Cute, huh?

2. We had a bunch of produce that needed to be used, so I thought I'd make salsa. Rather than just chopping everything up I thought I would get a little sassy with it & grill the tomatoes, peppers, & jalapenos. On the grill. Two things happend here: I prepped the veggies just fine until it came to the jalapenos....I could smell the hottness of those suckers even before I cut them open, so I knew I wanted to take out the seeds to avoid atomic fireball salsa. Easy, right? Yes, but then a seed from the first jalapeno flew off the edge of the knife. And up my nose. Atomic fireball nose. Then I went to start the grill & it wouldn't start. It hates me. So I had to use the broiler instead. BORING. 

Pre broiler, post atomic fireball nose

And THEN I got onion juice in my eye. It has been a day. But the salsa is delicious.

Found Some Words For Sunday

I have so much to say about this but I think, for now, it's best to let these words speak for themselves: 

Mostly Wordless Sunday

Healing hands to hold my friend....

 

My New Shirt

When I found out in April that Sara Bareilles (& Sugarland, but I was WAY more excited about Sara B.) was going to be coming for a show I immediately checked with my girlfriends to see who wanted to go. We bought GA Floor tickets so we could dance all night. I could hardly wait until August!!!!


Fast forward to the end of July & me having to get rid of my ticket. BOO. I had to have a hysterectomy (there's a fun, 24 year story) & it just so happend the surgery was scheduled for 5 days before the show. I was super mega bummed not to be there. I think I might have even cried when I knew the show was starting. But my friends were so sweet & I got videos & phone call serenades throughout the show.

  I. LOVE. SARA. BAREILLES. She came to Lawrence last fall & the show was AMAZEBALLS.

My friends, Andrea & Brandi, got me a surprise gift that signifies just how much I love Sara B. & why. Say "hello" to my new shirt:

Sorry, Mom, but she cusses & I like it. No. I f*cking love it.
 

So. Over. It.

Today has sucked. Not sure why, but I am so glad it's almost over. I really need to take a long look at the To Do List from yesterday's post & get over it.

Best To Do List Evah....

Totally accomplishing this list:
 
 

http://www.gotitatgabbys.com/Things_To_Do_Wall_Hanging_p/16997.htm

Can You Tell Me How To Get To....

Sesame Street: Something for everyone....

 

Thank you, PBS, for the LL deliciousness educational programming....

 

Healing Sunday

Cleanse yourself with laughter and with tears.

Let tears take out all the agony that is hidden inside you,

And let laughter ignite your contagious joy....


Don't know who said this, but it is amazing advice.

Kindergarten

Our little big girl started Kindergarten today....

The only things she has talked about since Sunday are Kindergarten & Daddy. She told me more than once that since she is 5 years old & in big kid school now she is brave & strong, "just like Daddy".

She practically pushed us out the door of her classroom this morning; she was so ready to start school! I am very excited to see how her first day of big kid school goes!

Special Day Before Kindergarten Movie Breakfast

Our big girl starts kindergarten tomorrow!!!! To celebrate I made a special breakfast this morning:

Baked French Toast Sticks!

These are super easy & FREEZABLE!!! I made a big batch, so we had some this morning & we have extra for breakfasts over the next couple of weeks. You can find the recipe here. They were a big hit with the girls; the little one called it "piztha"!

I cannot believe our big little girl is ready for kindergarten....Her first five years went by so fast! I am so excited to watch her learn & grow. But she will always, ALWAYS be my little girl....

Sunday Mraz

"Life is made for love, One and one is two" 

Jason Mraz 

A Day That Will Live in Infamy

August 12, 2000: Team Schu becomes official....

To celebrate such a monumentous occasion I have penned a........

Top 11 Team Schu Stupendously Amazing Highlights List

11. "Why do you always want to start a conversation with me at 1am? Go to sleep." Christopher says this to me on a regular basis; I get chatty late at night, but he snores listens anyway.

10. Tree Top Haven hot tub in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. I was in horrible pain during our honeymoon from a ruptured lower disc. The only thing that helped was sitting in that dang hot tub. Christopher brought me wine coolers & sat with me in the hot tub. In the Ozark Mountains August heat.

9. "Crush" - DMB (Bah doon doon chat)

8. Baseball games & baseball hats

7. Dancing in the kitchen

6. The girls 

 











 5. 90210, Melrose Place, & sub sandwiches 

4. Epic car performances of such classics as "Come Sail Away" & "Nothin' But a Good Time". Seriously. If you haven't witnessed a performance you truly haven't lived.

3. Meeting new friends at Madonna's Bar in Cincinnati. Twice. "Did you really eat that whole pizza on the way here?"

2.  "Everybody likes their own brand."

1. "You & me together, we can do anything". "Come what may, I will love you until my dying day." We've been to hell & back (a few times), but we always find our way because we're together....I love you, Christopher Neal. Happy Anniversary!!!!

Warren Jeffs Receives Life in Prison

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44076040/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/?GT1=43001

I don't even really know what to say about this....

Wait, yes I do: Warren Jeffs, you are a dumbass. You have chosen to use the Mormon religion, spirituality, GOD, & the spiritual hope of others to perpetuate a disgusting life fraught with pedophilia & manipulation. 


Although polygamy is illegal, I'm not sure I have a problem with it as long as all participants are willing & of an age where they have the ability to choose for themselves. I suppose the "choice" part is contradictory to why plural marriage exists in the Mormon religion, but I cannot get past the idea that God would want a 12 year old CHILD to be sealed to a man potentially five times her age. 


If God came to me & said, "Jennifer, it is My Word that you marry 13 year old Tommy next door" I'm pretty sure I'd ask him to check his Magic 8 Ball again. Then I would ask him if I could ammend His Word by marrying this guy instead (hey, my blog, my wishful thinking). Mostly because he's so stinkin' dreamy, but he's also OF AGE. 

Sunday Love

Source: None via Jennifer on Pinterest