Sundayness

A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful.  

Karl Kraus

In other words, you cannot truly be beautiful until you share yourself ---- ugly & all. 

Elton John - Harmony

Overwhelmingly underestimated song....

Sunday Quote Later in the Evening

People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

5 Year Old Wisdom

Karsen Hope: "Life is when you're happy."

Couldn't have said it better myself, baby girl....

So Maybe the Sunday Quote Will Turn Into a Sunday OR Monday Quote....

"When the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it may be that they take better care of it there." 

Cecil Selig 

 I saw this quote on Anthony Hamilton's Facebook fanpage this morning; it really resonated with me. When our lives seem twisted, icky, or dark we might look to others' lives & ask " I want THAT. Why can't I have THAT?" Perhaps, instead, we should be asking ourselves how we can cultivate goodness, happiness, & grace in our own lives.

Find something to make your lawn greener today....

 

 

Sunday Quote Returns with a Little Rambling....

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.

 

Helen Keller (1880 - 1968)

 

I've been thinking about the word "character" a lot lately. What does it mean? How do I view my character? How do others perceive my character? And how do I continue to grow my character into something I can be proud of? That my girls can look up to? 

 

When I found this quote from Helen Keller, it struck me that your character truly is your soul....It's rooted deep inside you. Every experience, moment, occasion in our lives shapes & moulds us into who we are & who we will become. 

 

We pray for joyful, positive experiences in our lives that will create within us a character that is open, strong, & hopeful. But sometimes in our lives there may be pain & darkness that can scar our souls. And sometimes it's easier to perseverate on the scarred pieces of us, rather than the beautiful. 

 

 This weekend I attended a class on grief, loss, & trauma work in Play Therapy. One of the activities we did was called Flower Pot. In this activity we were provided a terra cotta flower pot. We noticed its smooth, round surface; no jagged edges. We imagined the flower pot was our lives, ourselves. The flower pot was then broken with a rubber mallet. We were told to decorate the broken pieces with art materials, then glue the flower pot back together. This proved not to be the easiest task because the terra cotta shattered in places, leaving jagged edges & fragments so small there was no way they could be put back into place. Once the flower pot was glued back together we observed the cracks, the imperfections, & the empty spaces that didn't exist before. But glued back together, the broken pieces still formed a flower pot. It just looked different. It was altered & may not be able to perform its original function, yet the basic form of the flower pot remained. And if you looked at the individual pieces, they were beautiful: vibrant colors, sparkles, poetic words were now just as much parts of the flower pot as were the imperfections. One group's flower pot was broken into so many pieces it was impossible to put them together properly to regain even a semblance of its original shape. Rather than give up on their flower pot, they simply placed their smaller pieces inside the largest piece & lovingly tied them together with a lavender ribbon....

 

If we look at the altered flower pot as our character, our soul, we can begin to see the beauty in each piece. In every fragment is a lesson to be learned, a new path to be forged. For a long time I chose to focus on the scars & defects in my character. The painful occurrences in my life began to shape my soul & define me. It was somehow easier to handle these than to actually admit there are beautiful, wonderful &, dare I say, damn fabulous pieces of me. This activity reminded me that although I am not the person I once was, or who I thought I would be, my soul remains vibrant, sparkly, strong. 

 

Just like the flower pot.

SO. ANNOYING.

I continue to suck at updating dizdam blog. That is all.

For the Love of Baseball & Life....

It's OPENING DAY! 
I found this poem & thought I'd share....

LIFE
by Jim Grant

Life is like a game of baseball,
You play it every day.
It isn't just the breaks you get,
But the kind of game you play.

So stop and look your whole team over,
And you'll find dedication there.
You're bound to be a winner,
With men who really care.

Your pitcher's name is courage,
You need him in the game.
For faith and trust your keystone men,
The grounders they will tame.

Your center fielder is very fast,
Though small and hard to see.
So watch him, son, when he gets,
The ball he's opportunity.

In left field there's ambition,
Never let him shirk.
For in right field there's a husky man,
I'm told his name is work.

At first base there's religion,
He's stood the test of time.
At third base there's brotherhood,
The stalwart of the nine.

Your catcher's name is humor,
He's important to the scheme.
For with honor warming in the bull pen,
The game is always clean.

With love on the bench,
You've perfection no less.
With a winning team,
And joy and happiness.

Your other team is strong, son,
Greed, hatred, envy and defeat.
Are for strong infielders,
You'll have to buck to make your game complete.

Deceitfulness and a man called waste,
Are always playing hard.
Selfishness and jealousy,
None can you disregard.

Carelessness and falsehood,
Are the big boys in the pen.
You'll have to swing hard, son,
When you come up to them.

There's one more man you'll have to watch,
He's always very near.
He's the pitcher on that team,
And I'm told his name is fear.

This game will not be easy,
There'll be trouble, there'll be strife.
To make the winning runs, my boy,
For this game is played on the field of life.

So stand behind your team, my boy,
There'll be many who'll applaud.
Just remember that you're the player,
And the umpire here is God. 

And Another Thing....

If you choose to take booty butt naked pictures of yourself, allow someone else to take booty butt naked pictures of you, or choose to go out in public without nannies & get out of a car spread eagle....please plan on the entire world seeing your booty butt. Please do not act completely devastated & mourn the loss of your privacy & innocence when your pictures of your vagina are running around the interweb thing & creeping through text messaging faster than you can say "WHOOPSIE". 

Technology is a bitch & she has no scruples.

Accountability.

Accountability

Today I posted a link on my Facebook wall to a CNN Entertainment article about R&B singer Chris Brown's recent appearance on Good Morning America. He was there to promote his new album, however Robin Roberts repeatedly brought up his violent past & a horrific assault on his former girlfriend, also a singer, Rihanna. After the interview Brown, allegedly, began ranting & yelling so loudly security was called. He also (allegedly) threw a chair at a window in his dressing room. The impact broke the window, which could be seen from outside the studio on Broadway.

This (alleged) act of ridiculous behavior, combined with several other sensationalized acts of misbehavior (Charlie "Tiger Blood" Sheen , Mel "What The Hell Happend to You" Gibson, Lindsay "Crackety Crack" Lohan, Britney "Buzzcut" Spears....) & recent life events have led me to really reflect on what it truly means to be accountable. 

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines accountability as "the quality or state of being accountable; especially : an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions accountability>". 

Simple enough; straight forward, right?: Be responsible for your behavior.


Here is how I choose to define accountability: An obligation, willingness, & responsibility to accept the consequences ---- positive & negative ---- of one's chosen behavior & its effect on the past, present, & future. To take ownership of one's self: the good, the bad, & the ugly.

Each & every behavior we engage in has a consequence. Britney Spears & Lindsay Lohan are now more known for their outrageous behavior rather than their accomplishments. There have been times in the last nearly 36 years that I reflect upon with great pride & a sense of accomplishment. There are also events in my life that make me want to crawl under a rock....I have chosen to behave in ways that were disrespectful, self righteous, & down right horrible. But I can't change the way I behaved & I can't expect others to forgive & forget my actions just because I apologized. To an old boyfriend I will always be the angry ex who left a nasty message on his machine, no matter how many apologies I've said or how many years have passed. And I hate that. I hate that anyone who heard that message 17 years ago will only have those ugly words to form their opinion of me. Because those words were not me, nor are they now. But I cannot take them back. I can explain away my behavior that day by telling you about terrible things going on in my life at the time, how he & his poor answering machine got the brunt of all my anger & hatred that should have been directed elsewhere. Surrounding circumstances do not mitigate or change the fact that I made a conscious choice to behave like an outright asshole. 

Perhaps the hardest things to erase from another's memory are the words we speak. Sometimes we are so quick to get our thoughts out on the table we fail to consider their effect on others. Consider Mel Gibson's recent potty mouth. The words he increasingly chooses to puke out are so disgusting, so hateful, so detrimental that it seems to me he will be remembered for his abusive words, rather than his film career. Has he done anything in recent memory to
even attempt to redeem himself? Has he acknowledged his deplorable behavior & made an honest effort to change? And what type of legacy is he creating for his children? If you happen to speak before you think, be prepared to continually answer for your words.


The "Rihanna incident", as the media calls it, happend nearly 3 years ago & Chris Brown is still called upon to answer for his actions that night. He later tweeted something to the effect of "why can't the past stay in the past". Well, sweetheart, it's not that simple. As much as we would like to take all bad stuff & sweep it under the rug, it just doesn't happen that way. The bad becomes just as much a part of us as the good. It shapes & molds us into the person we are & who we will become. 


So how do we move forward? How do we get beyond the bad, so we can focus on the good? It starts with accountability. Take ownership of everything you say & do; use your experiences to cultivate a better understanding of yourself. Answer for your misgivings, however don't let them define you.